I’ve spent the morning looking at a replacement for a colleague in the circuit today. It was concluded that the following profile is what we are looking for.
The perfect minister preaches for exactly 15 minutes; he condemns sin but never upsets anyone. He works from 8:00 am until midnight and is also a good caretaker. He receives about £50 net per week, wears good clothes, never looks shabby, keeps his library up to date, entertains regularly, drives a new car and gives about £2,500 a year to the poor and to the congregation. He is 28-30 years old and has approximately 25-30 years parish experience. He has a burning desire to work with teenagers and spends all of his time with senior citizens.
The perfect minister smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humour that keeps him seriously dedicated at all times to his work. He makes daily calls on congregation families, shut-ins, and those in hospital; he spends all of his time evangelising the unchurched and is always in his office when needed.
If you know of anyone that fits this profile can you let me know!!!